Esther Perel (; born August 13, 1958) is a Belgian psychotherapist, known for her work on human relationships.
Perel promoted the concept of "erotic intelligence" in her book Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (2006), which has been translated into 24 languages. After publishing the book, she became an international advisor on sex and relationships. She has given two TED talks, hosts two podcasts, appears in the 2017 documentary, Monogamish, teaches a relational intelligence class with MasterClass, runs a series of therapy training, supervision events, and launched a card game.
Perel toured internationally with a live show called An Evening with Esther Perel: The Future of Relationships, Love and Desire.
Perel was born and raised in Antwerp, Belgium, as the daughter of Sala Ferlegier and Icek Perel, two Polish Jewish Holocaust survivors. She has one brother, Leon.
Perel attended the Hebrew University of Jerusalem in Israel, where she earned a B.A. in educational psychology and French literature, and subsequently earned a master's degree in expressive art therapy from Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts in the United States.
Perel grew up amongst Holocaust survivors in Antwerp, and later categorized them into two groups: "those who didn't die, and those who came back to life".
When she tours in Europe, Perel gives talks in different languages, not only English.
Perel initially trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy before finding a professional home in family systems theory initially as a student in the Intensive Certificate Program in Couple and Family Therapy at the Family Institute of Cambridge, which is now taught at Therapy Training Boston. She initially worked as a cross-cultural psychotherapist with couples and families. For 13 years she was a clinical instructor at the New York University School of Medicine.
Perel has also worked as an actress (appearing in the 2017 film Newness, as herself), and runs a clothing boutique in Antwerp.
Perel argues that, due to trends such as the secularization of Western society, the rise of individualism, and the societal "mandate" for personal happiness, the expectations for romantic relationships are higher than ever:<blockquote>Never before have our expectations of marriage taken on such epic proportions. We still want everything the traditional family was meant to provideâÂÂsecurity, children, property, and respectabilityâÂÂbut now we also want our partner to love us, to desire us, to be interested in us. We should be best friends, trusted confidants, and passionate lovers to boot.</blockquote>
Perel is the host of two podcasts: Where Should We Begin? and How's Work?
In 2016, Perel was named to Oprah Winfrey's Supersoul 100 list of visionaries and influential leaders.
In 2021, Perel was selected for the inaugural 2021 Forbes 50 Over 50; made up of entrepreneurs, leaders, scientists and creators who are over the age of 50.
Perel is Jewish, and says of it, "You can't know me without it."
Perel is married to Jack Saul, Assistant Professor of Clinical Population and Family Health at Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health. They met at Lesley University when she was 22 or 23; he is 7 years her senior. After 2 years of being close friends, they became a couple.