Striking and Picturesque Delineations of the Grand, Beautiful, Wonderful, and Interesting Scenery Around Loch-Earn, also published as A Description of the Beauties of Edinample and Lochearnhead, is a short book by the Scottish writer Angus McDiarmid ( early 19th century) that led the local history populariser Archie McKerracher to call him "the world's worst author".
The book is poorly written and has been humorously criticized by readers. The main text describes the scenery near Lochearnhead, including landmarks and local history. McDiarmid's writing style is characterized by obscure and misused words, leading to its classification as a literary curiosity. The book gained some attention for the phrase "incoherent transactions" referring to thievery and has been referenced by other authors. McDiarmid's background and existence are unclear, leading to speculation about his existence. The book was first published in 1815, with subsequent editions released in 1816, 1841, 1875 (including a Gaelic edition), and 1876.
The book begins with a dedication to the Earl of Breadalbane (presumably John Campbell, the fourth Earl, as the book was first published in 1815). Its "grovelling and abject" tone was already by that time considered unusual. An anonymous preface then recounts how an unnamed "Gentleman", on a grouse-shooting visit to the earl's estate in the Lochearnhead region, met Angus McDiarmid, a ground officer (or gillie, a gamekeeper and guide for field sports) employed by the earl. Struck by McDiarmid's eloquent descriptions of the scenery and associated legends, the gentleman learned that McDiarmid had written a manuscript, which McDiarmid entrusted to him to be published. The preface praises the "unparalleled sublimity" of the book's style, which it connects with the rugged Highland landscape and offers as the reason that McDiarmid's sentences "overleap the mounds and impediments of grammar".
The main text is 28 pages about the region near Lochearnhead. There are three sections:
McDiarmid's dedication is in grammatical English, but the main text is not, and is full of obscure and misused words. The paragraph about an earthquake in the Grampian Mountains is emblematic of McDiarmid's style.
As early as its own preface, the book has been classified as a "literary curiosity". As the publisher intended, it seems to have succeeded as unintentional humour. One "J. Ss.", answering a question in Notes and Queries, describes buying a copy of the book from McDiarmid two or three years after its publication and having McDiarmid read it to him and his companions, amusing not only J. Ss. but also McDiarmid's fellow gillies. A later bookseller called it "a most amusing specimen of Gaelic-English." In an unusually favourable opinion, "R. S. A.", another commentator in Notes and Queries, refers to McDiarmid's "rough eloquence", and despite "[w]hatever may be thought of M'Diarmid's style as a writer of English", praises his perception of natural beauty and his "generous ardour" in narrating feats of heroism. J. Ss. said that McDiarmid's native language was Scottish Gaelic and that the latter used a dictionary extensively in translating his writings into English, choosing the most impressive words without regard to their parts of speech. McKerracher says that McDiarmid's minister read in church some Gaelic translations from Samuel Johnson, and McDiarmid tried to emulate or surpass Johnson's orotund expression.
Probably the best-known phrase in the book is "incoherent transactions", apparently referring to theft, which occurs three times. Robert Southey used it twice (with credit to McDiarmid) in his Life of Cowper to describe William Hayley's eccentricities and used it in at least three letters. Dr. John Brown cited it as well and took it to apply to Rob Roy MacGregor (possibly identifying a robber McDiarmid described as "a barbarous man ... who was notoriously for savageness of manner" as MacGregor). A more recent mention of the phrase occurs in Vladimir Nabokov's novel Pale Fire; the narrator sees McDiarmid's prose as a precursor to Finnegans Wake, a comparison Nabokov also made in a draft note.
A folklorist quoted McDiarmid's story of a kelpie and called the book "one of the most astonishing books ever written in 'English.
Little is known about Angus McDiarmid, and his existence is disputed. "R. S. A." says that he was introduced to McDiarmid in 1815, "a fine athletic young man" who was enthusiastic but modest. McKerracher suggests a birth year around 1770, which does not agree well with R. S. A.'s description of McDiarmid as "young" in 1815. "J. Ss." mentions meeting McDiarmid a few years later and describes him as dressing more poorly than the other gillies, in a black coat and a hat instead of "in the highland fashion" (presumably the Scottish kilt and associated clothing) like the others.
The preface assures the reader that visitors to Lochearnhead could confirm McDiarmid's existence and his sole authorship of the book. However, an antiquarian notes that although most accept the book as authentic, doubt whether McDiarmid existed is possible. If he did not, "J. Ss." and "R. S. A." would have been either been originators of the hoax or joined in it.
"J. Ss." recalled that the man who first had the manuscript published was a Colonel O'Reilly, and that O'Reilly gave the print run to McDiarmid to sell for his own benefit.
In 1888, an uncut first edition sold at auction for ã5 10 shillings, equivalent to ã439 in 2007 currency by the retail-price index.